random thought, travel, writing

chasing sunrise

today, the sun came up seven hours early.

the plane was shaking.  i don’t much like it when planes that i happen to be riding in shake.

quite impersonally, a man hands me a water in an in-flight plastic tumbler.  one ice cube.  that’s the first thing i noticed…  the second thing i noticed was a nearly microscopic speck  floating dangerously close to my one ice cube.

“i’d better get a closer look,” i thought to myself.  “what if it were someone that was accidentally shrunk, like in honey, i shrunk the kids?”

for whatever reason, since i was a little kid, i’ve had the gift of empathy.  i could always put myself in other’s shoes, and very eerily feel close to how they felt.  at times, a great gift.  others, a curse.

i recall watching honey, i shrunk the kids and understanding completely how those shrunken kids felt.  just wanting to be noticed.  needing someone to notice.  before they were squashed by a tennis shoe, or perhaps crushed in the mandibles of a hungry cricket.  or worse yet… sipped into oblivion while floating in some aloof schmuck’s in-flight beverage.

so i leaned in to check the speck.  oh… just some dirt.

suddenly the plane stopped shaking.  

and as i looked out the window, we slid unnoticed through the fading night.  

chasing sunrise.

random thought, travel, writing

euthanizing my thoughts

i hate writing.  

let me rephrase that; i get frustrated a lot when it comes to trying to express myself through the written word.  i tend to be more successful with visual mediums.

while on a puddle-jumper from richmond, va to st. louis, mo, i was reading a book by my favorite author, and it spoke directly to my insecurities.

“i know that with writing, you start where you are, and you flail around for a while, and if you keep doing it, every day you get closer to something good.”  anne lamott from plan b: further thoughts on faith

in regard to my own ridiculously bad writing, i don’t know yet if she’s right.  but it is certainly encouraging.  she’s the most profound and relevant writer of the 21st century in my opinion, so I’ll take her words as wisdom.

as a consequence of this, i have decided to put my thoughts “to sleep”, and just keep writing.  but if the groaning and squirming become too much to bear, and you must stop reading, i’ll understand.

for the time being though, back to flailing…